The Hoff Wants A Gal, Paris Cant Sell

 

What’s a gossip guru to do when all the interesting celebs seem to have gone on an end-of-summer hiatus? Why, talk about the B-list ones who are always doing something laughable. Ah, the reliability of spotlight-hungry, career-fading celebrities doing something ridiculously heinous is every smut lover’s dream. The leader in this pack of fading stars? None other than everyone’s favorite Hoff, of course.

 

hoff looks for love

Having recently divorced from his wife, David Hasselhoff has revealed that he is on the lookout for a smart British girlfriend. Hasselhoff plans to search for a career woman during his visit to the UK next month. He explains, “But I don't want some dumb blonde. I'd like a woman who is really intelligent. I saw this girl recently who must have stepped out of the office during her lunch break and was wearing work clothes and glasses, and I thought to myself, 'That's what I want, a chick who is career-orientated.'"

 

The Hoff’s decision to find a lady overseas must be due to him catching wind of the fact that American women laugh at him. Sadly, he hasn’t realized that all women laugh at him... actually, the entire human race mocks him. As a matter of fact, I think I might have seen an ant, a few gazelles and an aardvark point and snicker in his direction a few days ago.