Whitney Leaves Bobby, Kate Defends Tommy

 

The main purpose of today’s celebrity scoop is to help you get your mind off the fact that yet another Federline heir has been ushered into this world. While Britney was off popping out yet another K-Fed DNA-carrier, other Hollywood weirdos were filing for divorce, selling out their children like garage-sale trash and praying for Tom Cruise’s soul. Oh yeah, and David Hasselhoff had something irrelevant to say... again.

 

whitney’s split

Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from Bobby Brown. The two have been married since 1992... a record-long marriage for two has-been, crack-addicted celebrities, some might say. The two just fended off divorce rumors back in January of this year, but I guess it’s hard to keep track of the dilapidating state of your marriage when you’re blitzed.

 

Whitney, who once had enough beauty and talent to bounce back from the disaster that was The Bodyguard, has turned into an aged hobo who lives in squalor yet still indulges in wearing luxurious fur coats over crack-stained jogging suits to keep up appearances. Pssst… Whit, hon, there’s no need for any of that. We know about the crack.